told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize