Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
