I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
