the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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