the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
