Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
