Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
love makes seman taste better
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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