Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
