The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
