i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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