do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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