what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
