Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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