How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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