like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
