She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Shame is for Republicans.
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