I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
