Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
