So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
