i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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