Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
