I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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