You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
