i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
