meet me or not, i'm out of control
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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