you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
