you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
