Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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