I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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