I got chris browned last night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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