Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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