he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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