Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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