I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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