U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
