About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
