just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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