Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You can't motorboat a personality
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
