Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
