Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love you.
Bad choice
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
