You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think i have two assholes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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