Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
