Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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