So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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