two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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