ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
