My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
please come you make the beer taste better
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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