so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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