He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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