So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
