Fine. I'll sleep in my office
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize