who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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