She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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