how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
