Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
