wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
