Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
