don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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