We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
