i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
