At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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