Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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