at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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