I forgot how hot balto sounded
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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