How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
