Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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